Feeding my anxiety

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’m constantly anxious about my milk drying up. My mum reckons that my extended stay in hospital after Mr A and Miss E were born has left me with a legacy of stress related to feeding.

A quick summary of my hospital experience…. E and A lost too much of their birth weight in the first 48 hours so we were stuck on an intensive feeding regime for eight nights which involved being told by the registrar to stop breastfeeding altogether and feed each baby a prescribed amount of milk (formula at first and then expressed breast milk once my milk came in) at every feed – not conducive to a relaxed attitude to feeding! As it took over an hour to feed each baby, I was left with little time between feeds (and no time at all when I started to express milk). I didn’t sleep for three nights in a row because Young Daddy was kicked off the ward at 8pm and not allowed back in until 10am – oh the joys of Lewisham Hospital visiting hours.

Now, over four months on, I feel much more laid back about Mr A’s feeding (the advantage of bottle-feeding is that I always know how much he’s taking) but I spend far too much of my time worrying about Miss E. Logically I know that as she has plenty of wet nappies, doesn’t really fuss between feeds, and goes pretty much three hours between feeds, she’s most probably doing ok but it doesn’t stop that annoying voice in my brain constantly picking at my confidence.
And so I’ve developed a bit of a secret addiction to Organic Mother’s Helper tea and fenugreek tablets – both of which supposedly aid milk production. I guess there’s worse things to be addicted to.

9 comments to Feeding my anxiety

  • Hayley

    Weather we mothers bottle feed or breast feed I think we are all constantly worrying about how much they are getting and is it enough, even when they turn into toddlers! Then you have to worry about how much junk they are having over healthy snacks!

    Just remember your their mum and you know best :D

  • SuperLittleMen

    As long as they are gaining weight, then try not to worry about the milk, it means they are getting enough, my 2nd was put down as failure to thrive when he was 4 months old and I was distraught over that, he ended up on high calorie milk, but only ever took 2-3 oz per feed, and just slept inbetween and wasnt looking for more. He is now a very healthy 3 year old, completely the right size, same as his peers and is a proper little solid fella. Easy to say dont worry but I was always told that as long as they are following a centile, then they are fine. my 2nd fell from the 50th to the 2nd very quickly, while my 1st was on the 2nd centile at birth and never got above the 9th until he was about 2 but as he always followed the 9th no one worried.

    Good luck x

  • Michelle

    I think that anxiety comes with the job of being a Mummy, espcially being a twin Mummy(as you feel everything doubled!). If it is not one thing it is another to worry about. Sorry if that sounds negative I think it is just easier to accept that we love them so much we fret. The good news is that being a twin mummy also doubles the joy. I posted about this just this morning on my blog. http://mdplife.blogspot.com/

    Did you see my comment the other day (tummy time I think) where I gave you the URL for a really good twin mum blog?

    Enjoy your day, Mich x

  • Young Mummy

    Thanks for the pep talk Mich! Just checked out your post from this morning – so cute!

    I love blogging, but I'm finding it so hard to have time to keep up with commenting and looking at everyone's blogs (though often reading others blogs is far more fun than blogging myself!) x

  • Geriatric Mummy

    I can relate to this as I had the same problem with Star, although I was allowed to do it at home. It's very frightening, and does leave a legacy of anxiety that I still have now (he's 15 months) about is he eating and drinking enough !

  • Michelle

    No worries, I was not chasing you, I can imagine how busy you are with little twinnies. The house of twins blog would just be great if you are looking for reassurance from another twin mum. Mich x

  • mummy limited

    It's so difficult isn't it when you can't see how much they are taking, especially when your supply settles and you lose that full feeling. I try to think of mini mck and I as a team and have faith that he will tell me I'd he needs more (in his own special way!) and him feeding more will ramp up the milk. It sounds like miss e is satisfied with the service though.

  • solveig

    Just found your blog!

    I used to really worry about this – through out the whole time I was breastfeeding.

    For me, I used to start stressing that I hadn't felt my 'let down' and the more I worried the worse it would get. I would have to make myself think about something else while I was feeding or I would get so anxious that it wasn't going to happen. I had totally forgotten about that until I read you post!

    S x

  • Young Mummy

    S – it's hard isn't it, I love doing it, but it causes so much worry at the same time.

    ML – I'm with you. I'm sure miss e will let me know (loudly!) if she's not satisfied!

    Hayley – I always thought I wouldn't let my children eat junk, but I'm fast realising that all those Grand Ideals you have before you have babies seem far less important in reality!

    SLM – Mr A and Miss E are both on the 9th centile now. 'Failure to thrive' is a horrible way to put it, isn't it? Well done you for having lovely, healthy little ones. x

    GM – I couldn't understand why they wouldn't send us home to continue the feeding regime. It would have been better for all of us – luckily we got sent home on the registrar's day off!

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