When the trust is gone

Ten things you don’t want to happen on a Tuesday morning (or ever, for that matter)…

1) You drop your children at nursery, and head into the office. An hour and a half later you receive an email from a friend (who doesn’t have your mobile number) to say that their nanny rescued two young children (who bear a striking resemblance to your own children) from the middle of the road outside the nursery you trust to take care of your babies. You start to shake violently.

2) You phone nursery and they deny that any such incident took place. You continue to shake violently.

3) You phone the friend’s nanny directly and receive the whole story in all its terrible detail. The shaking gets worse and you try to stifle sobs.

4) You can’t get through to your husband because he’s in a training course.

5) You decide to phone Ofsted immediately to make a formal complaint.

6) You leave the office in a rush when you realise all you want to do is to make sure your children are safe.

7) When you collect the children, the staff still deny any incident took place. You stay as calm as possible and then leave.

8) You burst into tears when you’re in the street.

9) You spend the next couple of hours making phone calls and writing official complaints. You stop shaking around mid-afternoon.

10) As the adrenalin wears off you feel like you’ve run a marathon. You have a splitting headache and every muscle in your body aches. When your husband gets home you burst into tears.

Ez and Fonz won’t be attending nursery until they start at a new nursery in September after we’ve moved house. The nursery and Ofsted are investigating what happened today. I am drinking a stiff gin and tonic and waiting for Young Daddy to provide me with some comfort food. I am endeavouring not to think about all the ‘what ifs’. But what if….?

26 comments to When the trust is gone

  • Mammywoo

    Awful. Been thinking of you all day x

  • OMG!! Thank goodness they are safe – how on earth could the nursery deny it? ((HUGS)) to you, and enjoy that large G&T. I hope they get to the bottom of what happened before it’s another child xxx

  • Lots of hugs. They had some guardian angels watching over them today. Thank goodness they are safe.

  • Dee

    Hello, this very touching and as I’m a mother myself, words can’t describe how you must be feeling…
    I’n happy your safe with your lovely babies. Take care : )

  • alex

    Heather, how horrible. We are shivering just reading it. We are thinking of you and hope you will get to the bottom of the story soon. Try not to dwell too much in the what if. They are safe and that’s the most important.
    Lots of love and hugs from us.

  • Awful, I’d really hoped that they would be honest once they realised that you weren’t going to let it go, how sad that they haven’t.

    Have been wondering how you got on all afternoon. Deep breaths and large gins are really the only course of action just now. The rest will come later

  • Vicki

    Hi Heather, I am so sorry you had to experience that. many years ago my first born – now 17! was in the charge of a child minder and when we collected him he had horrific sunburn to his face and upper body – when challenged the child minder refused to acknowledge how it had happened or when and then accused us of not providing her with suncream!

    I am just pleased that there are some good samaritans out there who keep an eye out of these kind of things.

    xxx Vicki

  • jennie

    Urgh! Horrible! This is partly why I work from home with my kids. As a childminder I ask parents to trust me every day. I have had close calls but would never deny it. To lose a child in a moment is horrifying but to find out your own child was in the middle of the road while lost, horrific!!

  • It’s not often I really struggle to find the right words but I don’t know how you were so restrained, what a disgusting reaction, to deny this happened! It must be so difficult to know what to do, I hope you get the answers you need and I hope the people or person responsible faces up to their mistake, however difficult that is. Sending you lots of love. xxx

  • Oh I followed this all day and this post has still got me all upset and worked up. How on earth they think they can deny it ever happened is still beyond me.

    Biggest squishiest hugs ever. Enjoy the comfort food and the more than one comforting gins x

  • Kat

    Horrible horrible day, thank goodness it is over and you are moving past the shock. Denying it is a foolish and cowardly act which will not help them in the process. I too am a childminder and if you were my client I’d have phoned you myself. You should not have had to hear it from a third party and their investigation & risk assessments should have been immediate and proactive. So furious and not even my children!

  • I saw this on Twitter earlier and have been thinking about you all day!! Glad that the twins are ok and hope that a G&T takes the edge off slightly!! x

  • Oh my god that actually sent shivers down my spine, I don’t know what to say except you have done everything I would have done, they are save now with you! And also to send you a massive huge hug xxx

  • Holy fricking moly. Thank goodness they are safe. Big hugs to all of you x

  • What a horrible day you’ve had. Such a relief that they’re both OK and I hope you get to the bottom of it. Really feel for you. Tasha xxx

  • Woah, I think I’d have struggled to stay as calm as you did, seriously wow. How they could allow this to happen and then deny it, its just adding insult to injury really. The place should be closed, and I don’t blame you for removing the children from the place. I would have to let the other parents know. I think I would see a solicitor.

  • I think you definately have done the right thing in taking them out of the nursery. s We are placing our trust in these place to look after our children and that trust is gone. I am glad you have contacted Ofsted as this will make the nursery up their game and make them as vigilent as they should have been in the first place. Basically somewhere along the line due care and attention was not paid to your little ones and that is not on. At all.

  • My god, I am so sorry to have missed this earlier, Heather how horrendous. I am thinking of you and your two beautiful babies and thank goodness someone was in the right place at the right time to find them.
    Thinking of you xxxxx

  • Thinking about how I would feel if this was my babies has actually made me feel a bit sick. I’m so so sorry that this happened to you. How frightening. I really hope that the nursery get into huge trouble for this. For it to happen is dreadful – to then lie about it is beyond wrong. Huge hugs. xxxx

  • Reading this made me feel faint so I don’t know how you haven’t drunk a whole bottle of gin tonight! Cannot cannot believe it. Thank goodness they are okay. Absolutely horrendous, I am fuming for you. Cannot believe that something like that could even happen. Lots of hugs and thoughts being sent your way. When the shock is over and the shaking stops I hope you get answers. Take care. X

  • OMG! You poor thing! My heart goes out to you. About one year ago I discovered that my Nursery had left a little one outside and they did not realise – he was found wandering in the car park! To this day it has been denied, so I kept mentioning it every time I chatted to a member of staff to ask for their vigilance. Then the Nursery Manager sent me an email asking me not to discuss such matters with her staff. When I called her to enquire further I was told that staff morale was more important than the safety of my children! I would have moved my son from the Nursery however he only had one year to go and was adamant that he wanted to stay with this friends – he hates change. I am so looking forward to him starting school in September with proper teachers and not young girls (don’t get me wrong some of them are good!) OFSTED, a plea – more spot checks please! It does so worry me that Nurseries get away with so much that we do not know about. If only I had the time and money I would start my own Nursery. Sending you lots of lovely wishes, bet you end up checking up on the twins a lot tonight xxxx

  • i saw this on twitter and just wanted to say i really feel for you – terrible scary situation – you need to totally trust your childcare provider – i’m a childminder and if this had happened with kids in my care i would of been so distraught and most definately falling over myself in apology so just can’t believe the bare faced cheek of the nursery workers denying it had happened – totally un-professional.
    Hope you’ve calmed down now and even though it was an awful thing to happen at least no actual harm did come of it.

  • Couldn’t believe this when I saw it on your stream. I struggle to trust staff with J and always have, one of the reasons for a long time I only had a childminder. Come September I have to hand him over to some teacher and trust them. Its not easy to do when we love our children so much and want to protect them! I’m sure Ez and Fonz are none the wiser! Hope your feeling a little more calm today and dont feel so rough. Fingers crossed OFSTED give them a good seeing too! x

  • I can hardly believe that this could happen, how absolutely awful. Hope you are okay.

  • Oh Heather, how horrible, sending a big hug to you all. Don’t think about what could have been, just take comfort that they are safe and will now no longer be attending a nursery that is due some serious scrutiny.

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