As their battle cries recede, and silence descends, I realise I’ve survived another day. But there are war wounds – every muscle in my body has its own unique ache, some dull, some throbbing, some piercing. My neck and back feel have gone into spasm, and I’ve gained a few new bruises, most notably a toddler teeth-shaped design on my right forearm and a nasty welt at stair-gate-height on my hip bone. But the biggest casualty is my brain. I’m numb from the neck up, and spots of light are dancing in front of my eyes. I feel like white noise is being beamed directly into my skull. I head to the sick bay, take up my nightly position on the sofa, and question whether it would be more effective to administer the gin and tonic with an IV rather than by mouth.

Being at home full-time with the twins is the biggest challenge of our house move.

Our days are packed with activity, every half hour bursts with laughter and tears, and I’m rushing around, meeting the constant imperious demands of two 21-month-olds. Open this! No, don’t do it like that! Close it! Open it again! No, not like THAT! Tickle me! More, more, more! Cuddle please! Hold my hand! Don’t hold my hand! Hold the other hand! Pick me up! Let me walk! Don’t put me down! Don’t carry her, carry me! NOW!

Stress and joy come in equal measure.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating it – quite the opposite, actually, but I really had forgotten the toll it takes on your body and your mind and how huge a challenge it is to remain calm and keep your temper. It’s a good thing that there are moments when you can’t help but laugh…

14 comments to Weary

  • Oh bless them! I did laugh out loud at both photos! And sympathy to you…it does get easier, I promise! I didn’t have twins but I did at one point have 3 at home aged 3 and under! You will survive! xxx

  • Bless you. It’s only because of my Nanny that I can find more joy in this than stress. Mine are of a similar age and it is absolutely my favorite. But again, only because they go away a few hours a day. :-)

  • Fab photos. It does get easier, when they go to school……

  • Oh yes… it’s fun, but still count the hours until back-up arrives so that I can veg on the sofa! Fab pictures :) x

  • Oh god, I know that feeling. Some nights I can barely form a sentence once Piran is in bed. I just stand around looking vacant. I am sure it will get easier (it HAS to, right?)

  • Oh poor you, I remember that well with number one, and you’ve got that doubled. Before you know it though it will be over, it doesn’t last forever…then you have the tweens and teens stages to get through! ;) XX

  • It WILL get easier. I absolutely promise. They’re exhausting at that age. The demands are utterly relentless. Just keep going and think about investing in that gin IV…

  • Those are great photos, especially the second one

    Hang on in there, I can’t imagine having two Littler’s to deal with at once, one of her is plenty BUT Bigger has got to a place where she is less hard work so at least I can see it gets easier

  • Love those photos. Great ones to show them when they’re older!

  • I’m imagining LLC x 2 at this time and my respect for you doing it with two grows even more! We must just plough on with faith in those who have been there and done this that it does get easier.

  • You are doing a fabulous job. Enjoy it as it goes so quickly. Mine are only 13 months apart and I found that so hard and you have double the trouble. I feel that I am really turning a massive corner as mine are now 4 & 5 years, it really has flown by… Have fun with them, Love @welshmumwales :)

  • Hang in there you are doing a fabulous job. It is one of the hardest thing to be at home with the kids, very rewarding but bloody hard. when I go through days of constant action, screams and fights I try to remember when they go to bed that one day I will be sitting alone in the house while they are with friends having a little life on their own. That day they won’t need me so much and that they I will miss them… :) xx

  • Ah the memories. My pair are now 7 and that’s a whole other ballgame.

    I call my pair, the Wee Weapons of Mass Destruction. Wouldn’t change them (well…. lol), couldn’t give them away! The ‘fun’ changes, but we come through smiling

    Mars xx

  • Oh jeez, know that feeling so so well.
    That last pic did make me sigger though – cute!

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