Baby led weaning and twins – why it wasn’t for us

When the twins were nearing six months and we had to start considering weaning, all I can remember thinking was, ‘I really don’t want to do this’. We went down the traditional weaning road, but lately, possibly prompted by seeing friends doing baby led weaning for myself, I’ve been questioning my decision.

I wasn’t ready to start weaning. I’d just felt like we’d found a rhythm to our day and I desperately didn’t want to disrupt it. Feeding had already been incredibly stressful, and I didn’t want to start having to factor in solid meals too. Put simply, I was terrified. I lived in my own little bubble and relied a lot on outside advice. I went to a weaning seminar where I was advised to go for traditional weaning because the twins had been born early. Actually, born at 37+2 weeks my twins were full-term, but that didn’t compute back then.

My NCT friends were my fantastic support group. We leant on each other so much, and I’m sure it’s no coincidence that we all chose the same weaning method, as we were a big influence on each other. I didn’t know any baby led weaners. If had known some of the amazing parents who have embraced baby led weaning (Kelly, Emily, Kat and Nick among others) then, maybe I’d have made different choices.

Baby led weaning hands control over to the child
From almost immediately after birth, feeding the twins was fraught with stress and emotion. My experience in hospital left me with a huge anxiety about making sure Ez and Fonz were getting enough milk. This anxiety wasn’t showing any signs of fading when it came time to wean them. If I’m honest I would say I had huge control issues when it came to feeding, and I definitely wasn’t relaxed enough to hand all the power over to the two small people I spent all my time worrying about.

Baby led weaning lets the child set their own pace
I’m the first to admit that I’m not a patient person. One of the biggest things I’ve had to learn over the first two years of the twins’ lives is better patience. I seriously doubt I’d have had the tolerance then for baby led weaning. I wanted meals (the most stressful times of my day) to be over as quickly as possible. Letting the child set the pace is also difficult when you’re balancing the needs of two demanding children at the same time. When one is adamant they don’t want to be anywhere near the table, and the other wants to eat at a snail’s pace.

Baby led weaning is easier because you don’t have to make separate meals
With our lives thrown into complete chaos after the arrival of two small screaming people, our eating habits were in free fall. Food was eaten on the hoof when hungry. There was absolutely no planning, no consideration of nutrition, no sense of occasion. I honestly have no idea what we did eat in those months. As BLW is built around the principle of offering your child the same food as you, this presented a significant challenge. I remember that after we’d begun weaning, my lunch would often comprise whatever purée the twins had had that day. At least it was more tasty and nutritious than anything I cooked for myself (did we even cook? I have no idea).

This post isn’t supposed to be defensive, or a list of excuses why we chose purees over BLW. Nor is it a pop at those who’ve chosen BLW. I’m just looking back, and giving my reasons, as a twin mum, why baby led weaning wasn’t for us. It’s me, coming to terms with the decision we made back then.

Is my experience weaning twins specific to me or can other twin parents identify with my struggles? I’d love to hear from any twin parents who have chosen BLW, and how it worked for them. I know I made the right decision for me, and therefore for our family, when it came to weaning Ez and Fonz. But if I had another child (admittedly a highly unlikely scenario)? I think BLW might win out.

14 comments to Baby led weaning and twins – why it wasn’t for us

  • Kat

    I think with everything you need to do what is right for you at the time. I know that feeding your children is an emotional subject and you fed them well in a way you felt comfortable which is all that matters. For me BLW seemed easier btoh from a prep point of view and going forward but then I had the benefit of helping wean other babies before mine even came along! K x

    • Heather

      Thanks for your comment. Seeing you and Nick feeding your babies has definitely inspired me. Just a shame I won’t be having any more babies to try it out on!

  • You have to do what is right for you and your family. Both my boys were born 37 weeks and 38 weeks. I purred with Maxi as I didn’t know any better, but then he had to go into hospital as he was very ill and he was tube fed for a while. We never actually pureed after that, I had a little tub and a mini masher and we used that. He ate what we ate. Mini went straight on to BLW. Partly as I already had a 18 month old and it was easier and partly as he did come off milk until he was over 7 months old.

    • Heather

      Thanks Jen, it’s so interesting to hear what other people have done. It definitely seems that it’s often with the second child that people try BLW.

  • BLW isn’t right for everyone – with Littler I had assumed that we would do BLW again as we did with Bigger but in the end we have to spoon in a fair amount of food to make sure she was getting enough calories and whilst we did some BLW the big thing was getting food into her

    Each to their own and a slap in the fish with a wet fish to anyone who makes you feel that you have to defend your considered choices

  • Mamabearuk

    I felt the exact same way as you with one to worry about. Was also absolutely terrified by choking. I think in the end at about 7 months I did a bit of both and it worked fine. I have friends who did blw and couldn’t quite feel comfortable that at times nothing was eaten when I saw the portion sizes L put away. Also not sure chips from the chippy or dominos would have been suitable blw food! She definitely ate better than we did…thank god things get easier

  • To be honest I actually had no idea what baby led weaning was when the twins were born. The last time I had babies was almost 15 years before and it was unheard of then!
    But I don’t think with twins it would have been for us at all. Like you, feeding was hugely stressful. By the time we came to wean my typical fare was a packet of biscuits in the day followed by something thrown together in the evening. I was just totally unorganised and grateful when they swallowed down pureed versions of what we were having!

  • Me me I am twin mum who did blw. Well I did with the third child…..
    Is that cheating?
    I had never heard of blw when I had twins but I do still have reoccuring nightmares of puree ing sweet potato.

    All three seem to be doing ok.

    Have another just to see what you think of it.

  • Michelle Twin Mum

    Hmm interesting subject. When JJ was born 8 years ago no-one did BLW, he was fed solids from 4 mths as per govenment guidelines at that time. He was always a greedy eater and I was happy to peel, steam and puree all these foods into ice cube trays. I felt useful and motherly, lol.

    When the girls came along I already had a forumla which ha worked for me so I repeated it. They weaned from about 4 months, the same as JJ and were on good finger foods by 6 mths, so not much difference really.

    BLW is not better, just different. We all choose what works for us.

    Mich x

  • troubles' Mum

    We do a bit of both. Mine are nearly 8 months old and we started weaning at 6mo, as per the advice. We use jars, or vegetable purees, and then they sit with us and have more solid food same as us, but it’s more experimentation for them – not much actually makes it to their stomach. We need to use purees or they’d be so hungry all the time. We used the same approach with our other children, and they’re just fine. You do what works and all children are individuals, even twins.

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