When I grow up…

When I grow up I’ll be someone who knows when they last cleaned the fridge properly, and I’ll use a little pot of bicarbonate of soda to neutralise nasty fridge smells.

When I grow up I’ll change my family’s bedding on the same day every week, and I might even iron it.

When I grow up I’ll hoover the stairs instead of crawling up them on my hands and knees picking up the biggest bits and popping them in the bin.

When I grow up I’ll do the washing up straight after a meal instead of letting it build up until there is no longer any free work surface. And when I finish the washing up I’ll actually empty the sink so it’s not left full of cold, greasy water.

When I grow up I’ll be someone who opens their post on the day it arrives, carefully filing it into the appropriate folders, and immediately dealing with the things that are most pressing.

When I grow up I’ll know which weedy-looking green things in my garden are actually weeds, and which are shrubs that will burst into amazing blooms next month.

When I grow up I’ll mow my lawn myself instead of my father-in-law somehow talk my neighbour into doing it because my lawn mower doesn’t work.

When I grow up I’ll clean the bathroom floor with something other than a baby wipe.

When I grow up I’ll refill the ice-cube tray instead of putting the empty one back in the freezer.

When I grow up I’ll know what we’re eating for dinner tonight. And I’ll probably have already started preparing it using ingredients freshly grown in the garden.

Oh, and when I grow up I’ll own a Mulberry handbag.

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