Before my work day even begins…

6.00 Husband’s alarm goes off. Lie there in denial. Wonder how bad my bed hair is (was washed late the night before to save time in the morning and was still damp when I went to bed) and what on earth I’m going to wear today.

6.30 Husband leaves for work.

6.45 Drag myself out of bed. Tiptoe into the bathroom to check hair situation. Conclusion: not too bad, I’ve seen worse. Throw slap on face, dampen hair, tiptoe into bedroom, close door, and try to blowdry hair without waking children. Throw on clothes, deciding shirt could do with an iron, but don’t have time and honestly can’t be bothered.

7.00-7.40 Twins fully awake and already bickering. Go in, answer endless ‘where’s daddy?’ questions. Change nappies despite both children being strongly opposed to the idea. Manage to get a pair of trousers on Fonz while Ez insists on putting pyjama bottoms back on. I concede only to ward off major tantrum. Try to give the twins a sippy cup of milk upstairs while I finish getting ready but Fonz absolutely insistent on going downstairs. Switch on an episode of ‘Come Outside’ while I dash upstairs to put the rest of my clothes on and grab clothes for the kids. Get a vaguely compliant Fonz dressed, and then have a battle with Ez over every single item of clothing. Wipe toxic snot from Ez’s nose approximately one hundred times. Provide chopped banana on request. Twice. Try to down a cup of luke warm tea. Feed cat. Put dirty nappies in dustbin outside. Track down everyone’s shoes. Retrieve children’s coats from floor of car. Persuade children they are not wet, just a bit cold. Put coats on, grab everyone’s bags. Run upstairs and swallow a mouthful of toothpaste. Remember my mobile (forgotten yesterday) and get out the door. Buckle into cat seats and start engine at 7.47.

7.53 Arrive at nursery and manage to bag a parking spot in the tiny car park. Even reverse into space to ensure quick getaway. Try to distract children in order to fill the 7 minutes until nursery doors open. Give up, get children out and they rattle the front door for the next five minutes while I tap my foot and check the time on my phone every 20 seconds.

8.01 First inside, wrestle coats off twins, and [gently] throw them through the door to their room. Fly out the door and faced with complete carnage in the car park. Negotiate my way out of the tiniest space in the world and zoom off towards station until I hit stationary traffic and begin to lose all hope of catching train.

8.16 Park car. Have regained hope of catching train so seize bag and set off on a trot towards station (have seven minutes to do ten minute walk).

8.24 With 25 metres to go I watch my train pull away from the platform without me on it. Manage to find a spot in the waiting room inside next to radiator to wait the 30 mins for next train. Send email apologising for lateness.

8.50 Leave warmth of waiting room to join crowds on cold platform only to discover train is delayed.

9.00 Finally get on train, nab seat and tweet my way to Waterloo.

10.29 Sit down at desk, 59 minutes late. Wonder how I will make it through seven hours sat at my desk before negotiating the two-hour journey home.

13 comments to Before my work day even begins…

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