The twins are in bed, but aren’t sleeping yet. I march upstairs ready to yell ask them calmly to settle down, but they are chatting away so nicely that I decide to take a pew on a stair and listen to their conversation. Ez has a stack of Maisie books in her bed, and is reading them to her ‘bruvva Fonz.’
Ez: Read that one now [Maisie Dresses Up]? Ok… It’s make a special costume time. It’s zebra. Hello Maisie! The End.
Fonz: Yay! Well done Ez. Now I wanna go a sleep.
Fonz: Yes, I’m rilly tired.
Ez: No Fonz, you’re no tired.
Ez: You’re hungry.
Ez: I read shopping book now [Maisie Goes Shopping]. There’s no more food. I need food. Go shopping. Buy bread. Theeee End!
Fonz: I just lie down and get special stickers Ez? [The twins get a reward sticker for staying in bed all night]
Ez: There are no special stickers Fonz.
[to herself as she leafs through all the book] I don’ like tht one. I don’ like that one. I don’ like that one. There’s no more reading now. Move back and leave my circle now. [no idea what this means].
Ez: I not be happy.
Fonz: Ez sad?
Fonz: Ez happy?
Ez: No. I crossed.
Fonz: Ez cross?
Ez: Yes. Because look! Is all the mess. It made it very sad. My mummy is crossed.
Fonz: No, my mummy is happy.
Ez: No mummy is crossed because the books is not sitting very well.
Fonz: I need to put soap on my hands?
Ez: Put water and soap because I been the farm.
Fonz: I not been a farm.
Ez: Where’s a been to? What’s a been to?
Fonz: I beeeeeeeeeeen… I beeeeeeeeeen… a Welly park [Wellington Country Park].
Ez: Wash your hands then. I got water on my hands and soap.
Fonz: I no been a farm but I wash my hands.
Ez: Rub it together like this. Soap between your fingers. Yeuch all dirty. Now nice and cleaned.
Mummy very crossed.
Fonz: Ez happy now?
Ez: I very crossed. I go sleep now. I no feeling well.
Fonz: No feeling well?
Ez: No. [big sigh]
[Fonz tries a change of subject]
Fonz: Chicken and rice and nana.
Ez: Oh I no like chicken. I like fingers! [fish fingers]
Fonz: Oooooh fingers.
Ez: My favourite.
Fonz: My favourite too. Aaaaaannnd yoghurt! Aaaaaand strawberries! Aaaaaaand ham!
Ez: And egg.
Fonz: I no like egg. Pardon you Ez!
Ez: I not do a fart. Jus’ a wee wee!
Fonz: You need a change your nappy then.
Ez: No change a nappy. Jus’ a wee wee.
Fonz: [sounding very weary now] Ok Ez.
Ez: There I changed a nappy!
Fonz: No, pants!
Ez: Shh Fonz the baby’s upstairs. [Whispers] Is time for sleeping. Have a be quiet.
[And both sleep]