For my two gorgeous three year olds it’s something they take for granted. Their sibling has been the first person they see in the morning and the last person they see at night since the afternoon they were born, or even before then I guess. They have no comprehension of how magical that bond is that ties them together. Even on days when they fight like cat and dog for every waking hour, separate them for five minutes and they will immediately ask about their brother or sister.
They don’t crave a physical closeness like some twins, but they can display such affection for each other that it will stop me dead in my tracks. Little things – silently going to fetch their sibling’s comfort blanket for them if they’re upset, coming to an agreement themselves over how to share a toy they both want, sharing a secret joke that results in cascades of giggles, holding hands when they’re unsure of a situation, hearing how Ez helps Fonz to get dressed after a PE session at nursery – allow a glimpse at the rock-solid foundation of their relationship. They lean on each other without even knowing it.
I see their relationship strengthen every day. As they get older, the constant battle for my attention that characterised their first couple of years lessens and they find themselves wanting to spend time with each other instead of me. The playroom door closes behind them as they shut themselves away to enjoy their latest game. On the nursery pick up they used to instantly race across the classroom to envelop me in a bear hug as soon as they spotted me, but now their first thought is for their sibling and instead they’ll turn to find them first and tell them I’m there. Then I’m treated to a double bear hug.
The bond between twins – that unfathomably deep connection with another person that begins even before birth – is a mystery that we can never truly understand. To share so much – from developmental milestones and first experiences to toys and baths. Learning together, growing together. I’m not a twin so the depth of this bond will always be beyond my comprehension. But I can still marvel at the wonder of it, with tears pricking my eyes and my throat choked up with emotion, and hope with all my heart that this incredible bond between my two first children will offer them support, friendship and love throughout their lives.
“If I woke up in the night and I was all on my own I would be scared. But if Fonz is there, I’m not.” (Ez, January 2013)
I’m linking this post up for The Gallery at Sticky Fingers.
What a beautiful post. As a twin I recognise a lot of what you are saying. I was very lucky to have someone always there to give me a sense of security.
Great to hear from a twin – very special
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading this blog entry. Your words rang so true for me. My twin girls are nearly 3 and to see their strong bond develop every day is truly magical. Will be regularly reading your posts. Lots of love amy xx
Thank you for such a lovely comment.
Gorgeous. That is all.
Thank you.
Lovely post. I wrote a bit about it last week in my own blog. It is, indeed, a beautiful mystery…
“You are twins, a blessing to your parents, and a blessing to each other. You have another half, literally. You will fight like hyenas, I am sure. You will know exactly how to hurt each other. But the reason you know is because you know each other more deeply than any human being ever can. You have swum together as spirits longer than anyone else has or will. And therefore you can protect, soothe, love and enjoy each other perfectly. Whilst standing next to each other on the battlefield though make sure that it doesn’t become a perennial cry of you two versus the world. Let other people join in, and try not to be jealous.”
http://likepeasinapod.com/2013/01/23/an-open-letter-to-my-daughters/
Beautiful post, thanks for sharing.
Aww how lovely… the image of the two of them as babies is so sweet
Mollyxxx
It makes me well up x
Interesting. I have just been reading something on identity on Is there a Plan B?
I don’t worry so much about identity as they have been chalk and cheese since day 1. I also think that maintaining their individuality is probably easier with boy/girl twins.
So sweet. It must be a very special relationship, being twins
I’m quite jealous of them in a way!
Such a lovely post! I love the picture of them together as babies – super cute!! x
I promise you it wasn’t always that cute and peaceful!
Bless, it must be amazing to watch them grow up.
I feel very lucky to be able to witness it.
Snap! Don’t you feel sorry for people who don’t have twins?! (smug? moi?! – ask me again when they’ve run me ragged. Again.)
Now – yes! I don’t remember how I felt when they were tiny…!!
Beautiful photos. You can see the bond in both of them. Even when they were tiny babies.
I think they were about three days old in that pic – amazing!
Gorgeous xx
Thank you!
Sweet! love that double scan photo – I couldn’t believe it when I was told at my 12 week scan there was 2 in there! How time flies
We almost passed out with shock!
Aw, gorgeous newborn pic of them. Scrummy.
One of my all time favourite pics of them – it’s the look of wonder in Fonz’s eyes
What a lovely post and gorgeous pictures. They almost make me feel a little broody!
Don’t talk to me about broody…