That magical twin bond

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For my two gorgeous three year olds it’s something they take for granted. Their sibling has been the first person they see in the morning and the last person they see at night since the afternoon they were born, or even before then I guess. They have no comprehension of how magical that bond is that ties them together. Even on days when they fight like cat and dog for every waking hour, separate them for five minutes and they will immediately ask about their brother or sister.

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They don’t crave a physical closeness like some twins, but they can display such affection for each other that it will stop me dead in my tracks. Little things – silently going to fetch their sibling’s comfort blanket for them if they’re upset, coming to an agreement themselves over how to share a toy they both want, sharing a secret joke that results in cascades of giggles, holding hands when they’re unsure of a situation, hearing how Ez helps Fonz to get dressed after a PE session at nursery – allow a glimpse at the rock-solid foundation of their relationship. They lean on each other without even knowing it.

I see their relationship strengthen every day. As they get older, the constant battle for my attention that characterised their first couple of years lessens and they find themselves wanting to spend time with each other instead of me. The playroom door closes behind them as they shut themselves away to enjoy their latest game. On the nursery pick up they used to instantly race across the classroom to envelop me in a bear hug as soon as they spotted me, but now their first thought is for their sibling and instead they’ll turn to find them first and tell them I’m there. Then I’m treated to a double bear hug.

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The bond between twins – that unfathomably deep connection with another person that begins even before birth – is a mystery that we can never truly understand. To share so much – from developmental milestones and first experiences to toys and baths. Learning together, growing together. I’m not a twin so the depth of this bond will always be beyond my comprehension. But I can still marvel at the wonder of it, with tears pricking my eyes and my throat choked up with emotion, and hope with all my heart that this incredible bond between my two first children will offer them support, friendship and love throughout their lives.

“If I woke up in the night and I was all on my own I would be scared. But if Fonz is there, I’m not.” (Ez, January 2013)

I’m linking this post up for The Gallery at Sticky Fingers.

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