“Where’s mummy?” echoes across the . . . → Read More: Stress point]]> I’m desperately trying to calm my breathing. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. My jaw is clenched and I try to relax my hands out of tight fists. I keep as quiet as possible, hoping beyond hope they won’t find me, though I know it’s inevitable.

“Where’s mummy?” echoes across the house in a sweet, singsong voice. A voice that starts my pulse racing once again, and makes me close my eyes in sheer panic.

The whir of the oven in the room next door cuts through my terror, and I know that I have to gather myself. A couple more deep breaths and with a sigh of resignation, I force myself up from the corner of the sofa I’m curled up in. I even manage to arrange a small smile on my mouth.

There is no way in the world I am going to let that damn gingerbread burn now.

Twenty minutes earlier, the twins and I sit down together at the kitchen table to do some baking. I’m full of naive hope and enthusiasm. I feel in control, having made the gingerbread mixture while the children napped. They napped after I bribed them with the promise of making gingerbread, a promise which came about thanks to their obsession with a book in which a white mouse makes gingerbread. The twins can reel off the list of ingredients without a second’s hesitation.

All my positivity is forgotten within the first 30 seconds of the activity, following arguments about aprons (Fonz doesn’t want to wear one), the position of seats (Ez’s chair is a smidge too far to the right), the colour of their work mats (Ez is apparently strongly opposed to red on this occasion) and the fact that the mixture has been pre-made so that they will not get to do any mixing themselves (they join forces to vent their annoyance at this one).

Finally settled, we begin. Presented with a ball of gingerbread each, the twins immediately insist that I roll it for them. I whip round to Ez’s side of the table and roll her portion out while she selects a cutter. Fonz is growing increasingly impatient and a vision of being hit with a canonball made from gingerbread pops into my head so I dash over to his seat to roll his mixture out. Ez lets out a cry of fury. She has attempted to pick up her carefully cut gingerbread star and it has broken in two. Quick as a flash, I’m at her side, re-rolling her mixture so she can start again (she refuses to use any of the rest of the previously rolled gingerbread). In the meantime, Fonz has managed to break his gingerbread teddybear into approximately four separate pieces, and is furiously shoving the broken pieces back into their holes, where they stubbornly stick to the surface of the mat. “More flour!” he demands and I quickly obey.

Somehow, eventually, in a period that feels like it will never end, but is actually probably only about five minutes long, we have two baking trays covered with a bewildering array of gingerbread pieces – stars, hearts, bears, bunnies, butterflies and another animal shape that I have yet to identify. I grab the trays and shove them in the oven, then snatch the remaining gingerbread mixture from the twins’ floury hands, and announce that we’re finished. I can’t face washing their hands too.

When their backs are turned, I stumble into the playroom next door and collapse.

Maybe next time it will be better?

Is it worth it?

]]> http://www.youngandyounger.net/2012/05/04/stress-point/feed/ 12 http://www.youngandyounger.net/2012/05/03/twin-peaks-13/ http://www.youngandyounger.net/2012/05/03/twin-peaks-13/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 10:07:52 +0000 Heather http://www.youngandyounger.net/?p=1004

E: Choose a book Fonz?

F: I choosing a book!

E: ['Maisy Makes Gingerbread'] Maisy in the kitchen today. Need eggs and sugar and butter and flour. Mix it up. Now we put it in the oven. I want a bus stop please ['Maisy's Bus'].

F: Ok. Oh! I don’ like that one.

E: My bus stop please! Thank you. We read . . . → Read More: Twin Peaks #13]]>

E: Choose a book Fonz?

F: I choosing a book!

E: ['Maisy Makes Gingerbread'] Maisy in the kitchen today. Need eggs and sugar and butter and flour. Mix it up. Now we put it in the oven. I want a bus stop please ['Maisy's Bus'].

F: Ok. Oh! I don’ like that one.

E: My bus stop please! Thank you. We read that one already. Choose another one please Fonz. Bus stop. Bye bye everyone see you soon! Bus stop number three. Hello squirrel. Hello black cat. There’s Tallulah over there.

F: Oops wake up little black cat.

E: Bye bye everyone!

F: Broom broom. Here’s another one.

E: No that’s not the right one.

F: Oops, sorry.

E: Fonz find it. This way, like that!

F: Sorry Ez. Sorry. I can’t find it. Don’ be sad, I look some more.

E: I sad! I don’ like this book. I like the shopping one today. I see the shopping one! Yeah please, yeah?!

F: In my bed?

E: No, here. Thass my special book. Is called Ez ['The Baby Catalogue'].

F: Ez and Fonz?

E: No, just Ez. Oh there’s Fonz. Your brother is called Ez for you. A baby brother Ez for you! Is called brother Ez. My baby is called Baby Gaga [Ez's favourite doll].

F: Baby is crying.

E: I put my baby in my tummy. There! I put my baby in my tummy. Thass my baby brother called Mummy.

F: Let’s get it out.

E: No, it’s not getting out yet. Is still crying. Is stopped crying. Take it out Fonz for me? Put it on my bed.

F: I can’t do it.

E: Oh I do it then! There. All done. Ooh it’s heavy. I sort my blacket out already. I need to look cool on my bed. [Takes her toy lamb, which also unzips into a pyjama bag] Fonz do a zip up.

F: Sorry. Let’s see. Oh, that zip.

E: Yes, that. Oh, when mummy gets here, mummy do it for me. Mummy help! Mummy! Mummy do it for me!

F: No, you do it yourself. Baby lamb.

E: That’s mummy lamb. Where’s Ez and Fonz’s lambs?

F: Don’ know

E: Mummy do the zip!

F: There’s Ez and Fonz’s lambs. Look!

E: That’s a sheep.

F: Oh. Give it to me. I want it.

E: No. In there now?

F: No, my baby lamb.

E: Yeah, take it. This is lamb for you, yeah? Wass it called?

F: Lambs. This is mummy lamb. This is daddy lamb.

E: No that’s mummy’s lamb that’s daddy’s lamb. That a got a baby. That’s mummy sheep.

F: No that’s daddy sheep.

E: Yeah? Two? Yeah?

F: Yeah! Twins!

E: That’s a cat?

F: No. That’s a monster. Kissy kissy kissy.

E: Oh no! Is a monster! A monster go in the house! Hello little monster. How are you? Monster’s coming! Coming a tickle me!

F: Is coming. Is coming. Tickle tickle tickle tickle.

[giggles from both twins]

F: Where’s your monster?

E: There’s a monster. Hello little monster, how are you? Go a park? Go away monster.

F: Where’s the monster gone?

E: There! He not come out. I go a sleep Fonz. Bye bye. Bye bye Fonz see you soon.

F: Bye bye.

E: I see you soon.

E: Two, three, four, five cows. Go away Fonz!

F: I not go away. I stay in my bed.

We’ve had mega tantrums from Ez this week – I’m talking frothing at the mouth, burst blood vessels in eyes type tantrums that are of such epic proportions I wonder if their tremors can be felt across the whole of the south east of England.

Anyway, one such (more minor) tantrum occurred after bathtime because, shock horror, . . . → Read More: Twin Peaks #12]]>

We’ve had mega tantrums from Ez this week – I’m talking frothing at the mouth, burst blood vessels in eyes type tantrums that are of such epic proportions I wonder if their tremors can be felt across the whole of the south east of England.

Anyway, one such (more minor) tantrum occurred after bathtime because, shock horror, mummy had gone out and wasn’t there to give Ez a cuddle when she got out of the bath.

When Ez finally calmed down, her daddy offered her a cuddle. ‘No daddy,’ she replied. ‘I wan’ Fonz cuddle.’

Fonz happily obliged and the two of them enjoyed a long hug before heading off to bed.

We bought one way before we started potty training the . . . → Read More: Potette Plus travel potty review]]> The Potette Plus travel potty system is something I want to shout about simply because I think it’s fantastic – not because I’ve been asked to write a review. I would recommend it without reservation to anyone about to start potty training, or who has recently finished potty training.

We bought one way before we started potty training the twins, but totally forgot about it at the beginning of potty training so I was lugging about a normal potty and a trainer toilet seat whenever we left the house. That, together with spare clothes for both kids meant that I was always laden down like a packhorse.

I remembered the Potette Plus and packed it for a long day trip to the zoo with a friend, who luckily had her own and was able to show me how to use it when Fonz suddenly declared next to the leopards that he needed a wee.

Potette Plus when folded up

The Potette Plus has a clever multifunctional design that means it can be used as a potty or a toilet trainer seat when you’re out and about.

Potette Plus with liner

To use it as a potty you simply click the legs into place and attach one of the bags which have an absorbent pad on the bottom so that it soaks up all the wee just like a nappy. Once used, you just take the bag off, tie the handles together and pop it in the nearest bin. We’ve had no leaks at all with these bags, even when I *may* have forgotten about them and left them in my rucksack for a day or two.

Potette Plus as a toilet trainer seat

To use as a trainer seat, the legs flip out to sit on the edge of an adult toilet seat. Ez and Fonz flatly refuse to sit on a standard toilet without a trainer seat so this has been invaluable when we’re out and about.

Potette Plus in its bag

The Potette Plus is light and compact, comes in its own plastic bag and easily fits into a rucksack.

The only negative I can possibly think of is that you do have to buy new bags – these cost around £11.99 for 30 and I usually buy them on Amazon.

Our Potette Plus cost around £14.99 from Amazon.

Get one. They’re blooming great.

What I’m loving this week is how, when I ask Ez and Fonz to choose their pants each morning, they have to go through the whole drawer, separating them into a pile of Ez’s pants and a pile of Fonz’s pants. Sometimes they’re both rifling through the drawer and there are pants flying through the air . . . → Read More: Twin Peaks #10]]>

What I’m loving this week is how, when I ask Ez and Fonz to choose their pants each morning, they have to go through the whole drawer, separating them into a pile of Ez’s pants and a pile of Fonz’s pants. Sometimes they’re both rifling through the drawer and there are pants flying through the air in every direction. On many occasions I have ended up with a pair of pants on my head while two toddlers are bent over double laughing at the sight of me.

Overhead this week was this bedtime conversation between the two of them, born I think through our long weekend to the Lakes the weekend before last, when we did a lot of talking about holidays, and a lengthy make-believe holiday we’d been on earlier that same evening which had actually seen the twins strip off completely so that they could go swimming….

Fonz: What you taking on holiday?
Ez: My holiday bag!
[huge round of giggles]
Fonz: I need a bag too.
Ez: Got no bag?
Fonz: No! I need a bag. I need Ez’s bag!
Ez: No Fonz, I can’t go on holiday yet – I need my seatbelt on. Click a seatbelt. Need your seatbelt on Fonz.
Fonz: Click!
Ez: We’e here! I need my seatbelt off. Click!
Fonz: Ok! Click!
Ez: I wanna go a playground. Drive a playground? I need a seatbelt. Click!
Fonz: Click!
Ez: We’re here. Need seatbelt off. Click!
Fonz: Click! I wanna go a nursery?
Ez: Drive a nursery then. Click!
Fonz: Click! I wanna go a playground.
Ez: No we at nursery now. Bye bye daddy and mummy.

And the highlight of the week? Hearing Fonz, in the middle of playing ‘putting each other to bed’ getting annoyed with Ez for stealing the blanket, and then rapidly switching to finding it funny before he loudly declared, “Oi! Stinky bum!” when Ez stole the blanket one final time.